When Anxiety Strikes: Turning Fear into Strength

When Anxiety Strikes: Turning Fear into Strength

The morning of December 31 greeted me with a jolt of anxiety, a suffocating presence that woke me with a racing heart. My chest felt heavy, my mind filling with "worries," and I could sense the day spiraling into a mental battle before it had even begun. It wasn’t paralyzing, but it was enough to change my plans for the morning.

You see, I was going to a New Year’s party that evening. Sure, it was with dear friends, but there would also be people I didn’t know, which could equate to small talk, of which I’d rather stick my finger in a light socket. I’m awkward and not good at it.

I would define myself as an introverted extrovert. Meaning, I’m most happy at home. I don’t socialize a lot and often dread going out.  But once I get out, things change and I usually do ok, so long as I’m with friends. Still, having anxiety 12-plus hours before the event felt overwhelming and unjustified—why was I already so keyed up over something that should be fun?

While the hours leading up to the party were full of reasons to back out, I pulled up my big girl pants and went and I’m so glad I did. It was so fun to get together with friends, make new ones, and I enjoyed every minute of it. You see, it wasn’t ME that was dreading anything; it was that often debilitating thing called anxiety.

I consider myself a very blessed person for numerous reasons, one being that I never experienced anxiety until my 40s, when my hormones began to change. Yes, perimenopause. And once I knew what was happening, I couldn’t imagine dealing with this my entire life. It’s horrible, and I have deep empathy for anyone who suffers from anxiety.

For me, it often began in the early hours of the morning. I’d wake up around 4 or 4:30 with a sickening feeling of impending doom. The only way to describe it was like an invisible weight pressing down on me. I’d immediately get out of bed and start pacing. With a cup of coffee in hand, I’d walk laps around my house, convinced that something bad was coming. Of what? I had no idea, but the feeling was relentless. This pacing would go on until it was time to get ready for work. Exercise would have been ideal, but the stress often made it necessary for me to stay near a bathroom. Pushing weights or bending into yoga poses would not be wise, if you know what I mean. Within a few hours, the sensation would subside and I could function, but those early morning hours were agonizing.

It took me time to seek help, and when I finally saw a doctor, I started with a thirty-something OB-GYN. Convinced that hormones were the root cause, I thought hormone therapy might offset my perimenopausal changes. Instead, she chuckled, said I was seeing the wrong doctor, and referred me to a mental health professional. I was shocked and frustrated. After all, wasn’t the root cause hormonal? Shouldn’t estrogen therapy fix the problem? I felt dismissed and old, as if my concerns weren’t fully heard or understood. But it wasn’t just about finding a solution—it was about feeling validated in my struggle, and at that moment, I didn’t.

Fast forward a few more years—full-on menopause, a pandemic, and plenty of life changes—and I’m now a “highly experienced anxiety professional.” I’ve dealt with several forms: panic attacks (impending doom), social anxiety, and generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) triggered by life—things like in-office team meetings, rising bills, political turmoil, women’s freedoms, etc. Now toss in a dash of OCD, a handful of PTSD, stir it all together, and you get a glimpse of my reality. But I know I’m not alone.

Anxiety disorders are twice as likely to affect women, with the weight of societal expectations, hormonal changes, and trauma compounding the challenge. The numbers are growing, reflecting the mounting pressures women face in a world that often demands resilience without offering adequate support.

For women, major causes of anxiety often include:

Stress. As workers, partners, caregivers, and friends, we often find ourselves juggling responsibilities that leave little room for self-care. 

The fear of losing control. Whether dealing with health issues, being in an unhealthy  relationship, or battling financial struggles—can feel paralyzing. 

Hormones. From puberty to post-menopause (aka forever), the hormonal changes can amplify feelings of unease, often leaving us questioning our own emotional stability. 

Trauma that can manifest as PTSD. Often triggered by life events, toxic relationships, even sounds and smells can cause anxiety that feels impossible to escape. 

So, how do we combat this relentless angst? Here are my coping mechanisms:

1. Exercise: Whether sweating on the bike, lifting weights, or hiking trails, this is my #1 go-to for managing anxiety. When I skip regular exercise, I feel it creeping back.

2. Recognizing triggers: Try to plan for them when possible, to minimize their impact.

3. Living a healthy lifestyle: A balanced diet, consistent sleep schedule, and mindfulness make a huge difference.

4. Surrounding myself with positivity: Healthy friendships and supportive, loving people help me stay grounded.

5. Advocating for myself: I’m learning to set boundaries and prioritize my needs.

6. Medication: While I can no longer take hormone therapy due to my breast cancer type, I am on anxiety meds and they DO help.

As I reflect on my life’s journey, I can see how every bend and scar has shaped me into who I am today. Anxiety, like the storms that leave marks on trees, can feel overwhelming, but it also teaches resilience. It forces us to adapt, grow, and find strength we didn’t know we had. Whether through creating art, building community, or simply taking time for self-care, we find ways to thrive. And that is the essence of being human—being rooted, resilient, and willing to grow.

So, if you’re struggling, know this: you’re not alone. Like the trees I sculpt, you have the strength to weather any storm. Bend, don’t break—and remember to honor your journey.

Reference: https://www.fda.gov/consumers/womens-health-topics/women-and-anxiety