Sisterhood: Why We Need More of It

Sisterhood: Why We Need More of It

Sisterhood has been on my mind a lot lately, especially as I’m sculpting my latest series dedicated to women. And I’ve been pondering what it means and why it’s so important. 

So, here’s a story.

Some years ago, I worked alongside a woman who, for all intents and purposes, should have been my ally. We were both excelling in our respective roles, navigating a male-dominated industry, and balancing life’s chaos. It should’ve been the perfect setup for mutual respect and collaboration. Instead, we clashed.

I felt ignored and undervalued, sensing that my knowledge and experience threatened her. I didn’t handle it well. Instead of reaching out or seeking understanding, I let resentment take hold. I’m guilty of what I call “sister bashing.” I didn’t lift her up; I let my frustration boil and may have vented to others when I should have managed the situation better.

Looking back, I see how that dynamic undermined both of us. Feeling disrespected, I responded in kind. But what did I gain from it? A fleeting sense of superiority? A false belief that I was protecting my worth? In the end, it left me feeling smaller, not stronger.

Why Sisterhood Matters

In working America, the dynamic between women can be fraught with unspoken tensions. We’re told to fight harder, climb faster, and prove ourselves in ways men never do. Yet, instead of forming alliances, we sometimes turn that fight inward and against each other. But sisterhood, especially in the workplace, is a necessity. Women in male-dominated fields face unique challenges—proving ourselves, securing a seat at the table, and navigating biases. 

Instead of supporting one another, we might find ourselves caught up in competition or letting ego diminish one another. This mindset, where we view each other as threats instead of allies, can be toxic. Feeling the constant need to prove ourselves smarter or more capable than our peers isn’t just misguided; it’s harmful. We face enough self-doubt without needing to criticize each other.

Here’s the truth: we’re stronger together. The more we support each other, the higher we all rise. Sisterhood in the workplace means cheering each other on, advocating for one another, and realizing that someone else’s knowledge or success doesn’t diminish our own.

Sisterhood in Friendship

This isn’t just about work; sisterhood is equally vital in our personal lives. Think about the women who’ve shown up for you—a friend who listened without judgment, a neighbor who stepped in during tough times, or even a stranger who offered a kind word when you needed it most.

When I was diagnosed with breast cancer, I discovered a sisterhood I hadn’t fully realized existed. It came in many forms—daily check-ins to ensure I was okay, rides to appointments, taking turns to sit with me after surgery so I never felt alone, and even taking care of my yard when I couldn’t! These acts of kindness meant the world to me, and I’ll never forget the love shown.

Sisterhood in action.

There were also those from afar—friends and past colleagues—who reached out. Some shared their own stories of survival, offering solidarity that only comes from shared experience. Others sent words of encouragement, checked in, or let me know I was in their thoughts.

These experiences reshaped my understanding of friendship. They showed me the power of sisterhood, reminding me that no matter how independent we think we are, we’re stronger together. My friendships have both rekindled and deepened, rooted in a trust and vulnerability I hadn’t fully appreciated before.

Choosing Sisterhood

I won’t pretend I’ve always gotten it right. I’m not the best at regular check in’s and would like to do better. And there have been times when ego or hurt feelings made me want to lash out– and times when I have. But through experience and life lessons, I know that taking the high road feels so much better.

Cancer, in particular, reshaped my perspective, teaching me that life’s too short to let pride or competition overshadow meaningful connections, and opening my eyes as to what’s most important. Now, I try to approach relationships with more grace and generosity.

Sisterhood isn’t just about survival; it’s about thriving—together. It’s about creating a world where women celebrate and support each other without hesitation or fear. A world where we lift each other up instead of tearing each other down.

I’m still learning and growing in this journey of life, and sisterhood. I’ve stumbled, and I’ll probably stumble again. But I’m committed to it because I’ve seen the power of women supporting women. When we show up for each other, we all rise.

When Anxiety Strikes: Turning Fear into Strength

When Anxiety Strikes: Turning Fear into Strength

The morning of December 31 greeted me with a jolt of anxiety, a suffocating presence that woke me with a racing heart. My chest felt heavy, my mind filling with "worries," and I could sense the day spiraling into a mental battle before it had even begun. It wasn’t paralyzing, but it was enough to change my plans for the morning.

You see, I was going to a New Year’s party that evening. Sure, it was with dear friends, but there would also be people I didn’t know, which could equate to small talk, of which I’d rather stick my finger in a light socket. I’m awkward and not good at it.

I would define myself as an introverted extrovert. Meaning, I’m most happy at home. I don’t socialize a lot and often dread going out.  But once I get out, things change and I usually do ok, so long as I’m with friends. Still, having anxiety 12-plus hours before the event felt overwhelming and unjustified—why was I already so keyed up over something that should be fun?

While the hours leading up to the party were full of reasons to back out, I pulled up my big girl pants and went and I’m so glad I did. It was so fun to get together with friends, make new ones, and I enjoyed every minute of it. You see, it wasn’t ME that was dreading anything; it was that often debilitating thing called anxiety.

I consider myself a very blessed person for numerous reasons, one being that I never experienced anxiety until my 40s, when my hormones began to change. Yes, perimenopause. And once I knew what was happening, I couldn’t imagine dealing with this my entire life. It’s horrible, and I have deep empathy for anyone who suffers from anxiety.

For me, it often began in the early hours of the morning. I’d wake up around 4 or 4:30 with a sickening feeling of impending doom. The only way to describe it was like an invisible weight pressing down on me. I’d immediately get out of bed and start pacing. With a cup of coffee in hand, I’d walk laps around my house, convinced that something bad was coming. Of what? I had no idea, but the feeling was relentless. This pacing would go on until it was time to get ready for work. Exercise would have been ideal, but the stress often made it necessary for me to stay near a bathroom. Pushing weights or bending into yoga poses would not be wise, if you know what I mean. Within a few hours, the sensation would subside and I could function, but those early morning hours were agonizing.

It took me time to seek help, and when I finally saw a doctor, I started with a thirty-something OB-GYN. Convinced that hormones were the root cause, I thought hormone therapy might offset my perimenopausal changes. Instead, she chuckled, said I was seeing the wrong doctor, and referred me to a mental health professional. I was shocked and frustrated. After all, wasn’t the root cause hormonal? Shouldn’t estrogen therapy fix the problem? I felt dismissed and old, as if my concerns weren’t fully heard or understood. But it wasn’t just about finding a solution—it was about feeling validated in my struggle, and at that moment, I didn’t.

Fast forward a few more years—full-on menopause, a pandemic, and plenty of life changes—and I’m now a “highly experienced anxiety professional.” I’ve dealt with several forms: panic attacks (impending doom), social anxiety, and generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) triggered by life—things like in-office team meetings, rising bills, political turmoil, women’s freedoms, etc. Now toss in a dash of OCD, a handful of PTSD, stir it all together, and you get a glimpse of my reality. But I know I’m not alone.

Anxiety disorders are twice as likely to affect women, with the weight of societal expectations, hormonal changes, and trauma compounding the challenge. The numbers are growing, reflecting the mounting pressures women face in a world that often demands resilience without offering adequate support.

For women, major causes of anxiety often include:

Stress. As workers, partners, caregivers, and friends, we often find ourselves juggling responsibilities that leave little room for self-care. 

The fear of losing control. Whether dealing with health issues, being in an unhealthy  relationship, or battling financial struggles—can feel paralyzing. 

Hormones. From puberty to post-menopause (aka forever), the hormonal changes can amplify feelings of unease, often leaving us questioning our own emotional stability. 

Trauma that can manifest as PTSD. Often triggered by life events, toxic relationships, even sounds and smells can cause anxiety that feels impossible to escape. 

So, how do we combat this relentless angst? Here are my coping mechanisms:

1. Exercise: Whether sweating on the bike, lifting weights, or hiking trails, this is my #1 go-to for managing anxiety. When I skip regular exercise, I feel it creeping back.

2. Recognizing triggers: Try to plan for them when possible, to minimize their impact.

3. Living a healthy lifestyle: A balanced diet, consistent sleep schedule, and mindfulness make a huge difference.

4. Surrounding myself with positivity: Healthy friendships and supportive, loving people help me stay grounded.

5. Advocating for myself: I’m learning to set boundaries and prioritize my needs.

6. Medication: While I can no longer take hormone therapy due to my breast cancer type, I am on anxiety meds and they DO help.

As I reflect on my life’s journey, I can see how every bend and scar has shaped me into who I am today. Anxiety, like the storms that leave marks on trees, can feel overwhelming, but it also teaches resilience. It forces us to adapt, grow, and find strength we didn’t know we had. Whether through creating art, building community, or simply taking time for self-care, we find ways to thrive. And that is the essence of being human—being rooted, resilient, and willing to grow.

So, if you’re struggling, know this: you’re not alone. Like the trees I sculpt, you have the strength to weather any storm. Bend, don’t break—and remember to honor your journey.

Reference: https://www.fda.gov/consumers/womens-health-topics/women-and-anxiety